The third element of self-esteem is acting responsibly toward others. This is a critical element because this distinguishes self-esteem from an ego trip. People with high self-esteem treat others with respect and dignity. People with low self-esteem often treat others poorly. When we have high self-esteem, we do not need to put others down to feel important.

A key principle is to understand the positive intentions of the other person. The assumption is that there is a positive intention behind our behavior. This does not mean that the outcome of the behavior is positive. It means we intend our actions to get us something we perceive as a positive benefit.

Although we may dislike what the other person does, we can appreciate their positive intention. This single assumption has the power to transform relationships. The assumption of positive intentions allows us to separate the person from their behavior, we can approve of the person though we disapprove of their behavior.